So its been a while! I am sorry about that first off! Honesty on this journey is most important! My journey took me back to some of my bad habits. One of which is putting others before me and emotional eating. Since my last post I have gone through many things. I will share with you just a few. I have divorced and now am a single mom of two. I moved twice and am currently taking care of a parent with cancer. That all said I stopped going to the gym as much because of my busy schedule keeping up with three part-time jobs, children, a house to upkeep and cancer! Notice I am not on that list.
When I chose to change my lifestyle and begin my journey I put myself before everyone else. I was able to loose over 50 pounds and tone up. I was happy with my weightloss and new found body. Of course many felt the need to judge me. They told me how skinny I was and that I needed to gain weight. I allowed their judgement to get to me. So much so that I tried very hard to gain weight without any avail. I turned to eating junk. I started to become addicted again to the junk. I began gaining weight of course and then the emotional eating began with my family member being diagnosed with cancer. So today I am writing this because the other night I decided I have to get back on track. I can’t keep wishing it and talking about it.
The start for me was getting back to my “church” the gym! I went back and went hard! I have been doing HIIT programs on the treadmill everyday. It hurts and I look like someone dunked me in a pool but I am there and I am pushing myself! The food! The food is the hardest part! I downloaded an APP called Lose It! Check it out! I needed to hold myself accountable. It shows me that I can’t keep making these poor decisions with my food! I have been inputting all of my food and with my workouts for the most part I have not been too hungry. Being hungry is part of it though because I have stretched my stomach out with overeating. As I have said many of times before this is not a diet this is a journey. My journey showed me that the inner fat girl in me is very much there. It has also shown me that I am strong! Strong enough to admit where I went wrong and change it before I look at myself in the mirror and am back to over 200 lbs! I am 40 years old now and I have to say this extra weight I am carrying doesn’t look horrible on me. I do know for me and my comfortablity I need to gain control of the eating, loose some weight and begin to tone up. This will make me feel better. I am the only one that matters on this journey! This journey for me is the same as it always was before but I plan to focus much more on not allowing others judgement to get to me. If I am happy in my skin their opinions don’t matter!
Don’t ever give up on yourself! If you want to make changes to your body or your eating habits you can! You will when your are ready! Love yourself! Love yourself more than you love anyone else! I love my children and my dad more than you can imagine but more than that I love myself! As a woman in this day and age we need to build one another up! We need to share our journey! We need to be strong for one another! This is your journey…what are you going to do with it?