Judgement

Something I am all to familiar with is judgement.  Now try this…over 200lbs and work my ass off literally on my own to eat healthy and exercise losing about 65lbs.  I kept it off for years.  I was judged for being over 200lbs!  I felt terrible about myself for many years.  Judged by my own family as a teen and peers.  The judgment didn’t stop with age.  The rebellion of the judgement changed.  My reaction as a kid was to eat more or mask my feelings with food.  Basically what I call eating my feelings.  As I got older I would lash out or have a chip on my shoulder.  I was convinced I couldn’t do what I ultimately did.  Finally, I achieved my goals and yes I enjoyed my weight loss and journey!  I was proud and it was a mindset and lifestyle.  I still often dressed or saw myself as the overweight Meghan.

Then I was judged for being too skinny.  So body shamed either way!  Absolutely ridiculous!  I allowed all of it to get to me.  I even began trying to gain some weight.  I gained a few pounds but didn’t feel good about it.  Life continued on and I had symptoms that I never had before.  I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease.  I started to inform myself and take meds.  This type of disease typically makes you lose weight.  I kept gaining.  I listened to my doctor and focused mainly on my dad and his cancer treatments and surgery.  As I already told you I stopped taking care of myself like I used to.  I put him first.  I had more medical issues.  They led to me finding out I had hypothyroidism but that only lasted a month maybe then my levels were normal.  Stayed that way for a few months and I hoped that would remain the case.  Not so much.  My levels now are 22.60 and I am being treated with medication for hypothyroidism and trying to educate myself and my immediate family.  I am trying to eat Whole Foods that help with this disease .  I am looking into oils, and anything natural I can find that would be safe.

I am happy with my life.  Despite the many “jacked up” things that get thrown my way I rise up.  I care for myself, my family, my house and my job.  I have a lot on my plate but again I am happy.  Sadness strikes here and there or anger because of the “jacked up” stuff that happens.  The symptoms of this disease are real!  Very very real!  I suffer from many of them.  It sucks to put bluntly!  If I wasn’t the fighter that I am.  If I wasn’t the over achiever I  guess you may call me I would only assume I would be asleep right now instead of typing this.  I am tired all the time.  Literally so tired I don’t want to move.  I can’t formulate sentences to speak at times.  I go into stores or rooms of my own home and I am confused as to why I am there.  I can’t  focus while doing normal everyday tasks.  I am happy to know there is an actual diagnosis.  My headaches, my tinnitus, my brain fog , my weight gain and on and on are very difficult to deal with day to day.

I struggle with not wanting to be judged for how I look right now.  Weight is back on me and people just assume I am lazy or back to the “old Meghan” and my journey wasn’t real.  These are things I have to tackle.  I am sharing because I am human.  Many men and woman have gone through this.  I am not alone and to all that relate you are not alone.  Let’s rise up!  Bring each other up!  Try to lessen the judgement towards others!  The saying “Be kind you don’t know what people are going through”. Let that run through your mind before you start to judge or be negative towards others. As I learn more about this disease and how to cope I will share because just maybe something that helps me can help someone else!

#becauseican.

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Dear followers,

I have been diagnosed with a disease called hypothyroidism.   This info below is to give you a little insight of some of what I am struggling with.  I have been put on meds but trying to find an alternative so I don’t have to take them for a prolonged period of time.   I continue to do my best to take care of myself and everything I always have taken care of.  Normal TSH levels are 0.5 and 5.0.  Mine are at 22.60.  😣  Life took another turn for me so I am taking time to accept, educate myself and family.  Between my health and my dad life got busier.  I will check in from time to time with all of my followers!  Wishing you all health and good vibes! screenshot_20190417-205149_instagram

If your loved one is hypothyroidthey are facing different challenges. Hypothyroidism means the thyroid is underactive, and not producing enough of the energy and oxygen-delivering thyroid hormone. This is like trying to get somewhere with barely enough gas and feet that can’t even reach the gas pedal. If your loved one is hypothyroid, he or she may be feeling sluggish, spaced out, and exhausted all the time.

Think about the worst flu you’ve ever had, and how tired, and achy and exhausted you felt. Now imagine waking up every day feeling like that, but having to get up, go to work/school and take care of yourself and others while struggling through the day. Depression and mood changes are common, as are memory problems and being fuzzy-brained, what patients call “brain fog.” Your loved one may look in a mirror and not recognize herself (the vast majority of thyroid patients, in general, are women, who are seven to ten times more likely to have a thyroid problem compared to men.) When she looks in the mirror, she sees the outer half of her eyebrows are thin or missing, her hair is thin, dry, coarse and falling out, her face and eyelids are puffy, her face is bloated and puffy, and she may have gained weight, despite eating less and working out more than everyone else around her.

With hypothyroidism, anything and everything can be slow, even digestion, which can cause constipation. For women, periods can be worse, and come more often than before.  And then there’s that issue of weight gain. Your loved one may be following the most rigorous and healthy diet and exercise program, and yet be unable to lose weight.

He or she might even be gaining weight on that program.

Life

As I told you life got crazy busy and will continue to be until next week.  I wanted to check in to let you all know I am thinking of my readers and our journey.   Last day of school before spring break for the kids.

Being honest the gym hasn’t been a part of my life for a while.  I do try to get in some sort of walk or exercise though.   Unfortunately, I am learning that life isn’t allowing me to get to the gym everyday like my last journey.  It just poses a situation that requires me to be creative and more driven.  Sometimes I am and sometimes it just doesn’t happen.  I have to pick and choose my battles.  If exercise is lacking then my food game has to be on point!  If my food game is lacking or I want a treat my exercise  has to be awesome!

If you celebrate Easter I hope it’s a great one!

#becauseican

What a day!

We all have nutty days and today was no joke!   So no workout for me. I had my prepped breakfast of a quiche and avocado (picture above) but aside from that lunch and dinner out. I made pretty good decisions but this will have to be a day that I work harder tomorrow for.
I just took a brisk walk with my son so that counts for something! Gotta go get the rest of my water completed! Tomorrow is a new day!
Thanks for holding me accountable! #becauseican

Brr!

What a change in weather! I hit the pavement as promised yesterday! I jogged and didn’t stop which was my goal. I successfully completed my goal but I thought I was going to die! Thank goodness that didn’t happen! Lol

I ate a quiche for breakfast and one of my yummy snacks this afternoon when I was craving something sweet.  Simple dinner tonight because Tuesdays are nuts in my house! Sweet potato, chicken and steamed veggies.

I now have more incentive on my journey …my annual birthday trip has been revealed! I am on strict instructions by me that I will enjoy my trip to the fullest in the body I am in.  I refuse to compare myself to others or social media.  I won’t fall prey to the stereotypical i.ages of what society says is a beautiful body.  As long as I am working on a mentally and physically  healthy me that is all that matters!  I finally know my worth and will remain on my healthy eating and exercise journey!
Thank you for reading and holding me accountable! #becauseican screenshot_20190407-111302_samsung-internet

Sunday funday

Hello all! Another nice day! Got to sleep in and have the same wonderful breakfast again today! I have not been entering my food into my fitness pal this weekend. Huge test for me! Test to make good decisions during a busy weekend! So far so good! Last night was an unexpected treat…out to dinner. I had the best salad/appetizer! It was grilled portobello mushrooms, green beans, roasted red peppers, celery, red onion and small fresh mozzarella balls. Yum!
Beautiful day for a bike ride. The wind was a little rough but a good challenge. Even got in a short walk with the dog. Hope you got a little exercise outdoors today on this beautiful Sunday! You prepared for the week? Mentally? Meals prepped or at least thought out? Got an idea of what you want to do at the gym? Goals you want to exceed at the gym?
#becauseican

The struggle was real today!

So today I went to the gym. I just didn’t want to be there. I got on the bike and I peddled at a moderate pace then realized I had to write this post. How could I let all of you down. I had to workout for an hour and I had to take it serious if I was committing to this journey! I finished my workout on the treadmill. I started walking on a 15 incline then jogged. I ended with a full on sprint! Yup ended up feeling great about my workout! Thank you to my followers for holding me accountable!
I bought myself this coconut milk based drink I really enjoy! It’s like dessert to me. It does have 170 calories and if you know me I don’t believe in drinking your calories. I usually drink half and save the rest for another day! It does need to be shaken very well and kept cold! I told myself right before I started my journey that I was going to have a protein drink once a week to supplement a meal. That hasn’t happened. I soooo like to chew my food! I just haven’t been able to wrap my head around drinking a meal. As long as I prepare and eat good balanced healthy meals I can’t beat myself up about something so trivial! Hope your having a great day! I would love to hear about your workout today! Inspire me and others! #becauseican